Katie: Book One: The Cattleman's Daughters Page 10
“I’m proud to see a young woman with a sense of responsibility.” Cathleen said, smoothing her skirts and looking across the table at her young guest.
“But what does it really mean to care for your family? Before my father passed…” she paused taking a steadying breath “… he insisted that the only thing that would make him rest easy was to know I was taken care of. It’s the biggest reason I decided to become a mail order bride.”
For a moment her eyes took on a faraway look. “Sometimes what we think of as being selfish or self-serving is really what our family wants for us. What they really want is for us to be happy and safe, that’s all.”
For some reason Cathleen’s words made Katie feel uncomfortable. She had always known her place. Her whole life she’d known that as the oldest she had to watch over her family and see that they had everything they needed. Her wants and desires were secondary to theirs. Up until recently everything she had ever wanted had been right here; she’d been content, happy, satisfied in her role. Why did she feel so restless now? Finishing her tea, she thanked her new aunt for the visit and excused herself. But once she left the cheery confines of the tiny sod shack she couldn’t shake her feeling of unease.
Chapter 12
Brush popping was one of the worst jobs on the ranch and often one of the most dangerous. After the hay had been stored the hands had returned to the mountain passes, working in teams of two and three, to push some of the wilder cattle down to the safer winter pastures. Wild eyed cows with late calves, or small pockets of young cattle hiding out in thickets, gullies and passes were often just as determined to stay where they were as the men were to see them driven down out of the high ranges.
Will separated the old hands into groups and with Benji’s advice sent them out to find any animal that had strayed. When Joshua and Katie made it clear that they were on the roster Will partnered with them and headed for the hills.
They rode quietly barely speaking and watching for any likely area a steer or cow could be hiding. Katie rode next to her father with Will to the right of the boss and slightly in the lead. Sometimes he was sure he could feel her eyes on him, but he resisted the urge to look over his shoulder to be sure.
Over the past few weeks he hadn’t seen much of Katie and he wondered if she had told anyone about the kiss in the barn. Thinking of it a warm thrill ran up his spine. The young woman hadn’t been cold to him since then, she simple seemed to avoid his company as much as possible.
Will, distracted by his own thoughts didn’t notice Joshua James turn his buckskin toward a clump of bushes along the outskirts of a copse of tall yellow pines. The sound of branches scrapping on leather chaps, brought Will back to his task just as the older man pushed an old mossy horn cow and her puny calf out of the bushes.
Katie seeing that the cow was about to bolt, spurred her horse toward it, working to squeeze it between herself and her father, forcing the animal to turn toward the lower valley. It was a perfectly reasonable move, but as soon as Will raised his head to study the scene, he could see that the cow had no intentions of being reasonable.
Instead the red brindled beast lowered its head, shaking lethal horns, six feet wide at a spread that glistened in the bright afternoon sun as she charged toward Katie’s horse. The cow pony began to dodge but it was obvious that it could never move out of the way fast enough. Whisper responded to the thump of Will’s heels in less than a heartbeat, stretching his neck bearing his teeth and aiming toward the big cow. The beast seeing the new threat turned at the last moment giving just enough room for Katie’s pony to escape.
Whisper, still at a dead run, had not time or room to move, but threw his shoulder full into the wild eyed cow, who determined to defend her calf shifted her weight just as the roan horse made impact. Together, the horse, cow and rider tilted, then rolled. Whisper’s whole body tumbled, head first, neck beneath shoulders and hind quarters wind-milling as momentum carried the horse through the full summersault.
Will felt himself flying from the saddle as his horse impacted first cow and then earth with a horrifying crack and crash. Stretching his arms in front of him as he soared over the downed body of the cow, Will felt the wrist in his right arm give way as he hit the ground, using his forward motion to roll along his shoulder, and finally coming to a skidding halt on his side. Brambles, grass and brush, scrapped and tore at Will’s body as it followed along the ground, knocking him senseless for a few moments.
As the darkness around his eyes passed Will sat up, shaking his head to restore his senses. His arm hurt, but he pushed himself dazedly to a sitting position. The thump of horse’s hooves next to him drew his attention and instinctively he lifted his left arm to reach for Whispers reins, but his hand didn’t make contact with the roan horse. Instead a small gentle hand grasped his as Katie leapt from her mount and reached for him. He looked up into the shocked and frightened eyes of the girl, still dazed and bewildered.
Slowly another sound penetrated his befuddled mind. The soft huff of a horse, and the sound of a scrabbling animal. Shaking his head to try to clear it Will followed the sound taking in the carnage around him.
Off to his right in the distance the big cow hobbled next to her calf, glaring at Joshua’s big buckskin helplessly as the cow pony kept her and the calf penned against the trees. Then he saw what was making the soft noises off to his left.
Whisper lay stretched out on his side, head extended in front of him at an odd angle, his hooves making soft twitching motions in the dark earth where he’d fallen. Pushing himself to his knees Will half crawled, half lunged toward his faithful mount, his left hand extending into the animals red flecked mane, and stoked the glossy hide.
“Easy, there.” He soothed and the horse nickered low in its throat. “Rest easy now old man.” Will’s voice broke as the soft, limpid brown eyes turned toward their master’s voice and the horse stilled. For long moments Will stroked the glossy mane of his most loyal companion. His face pale and his eyes full of pain.
“His neck's broke, son.” Joshua’s voice was rough with emotion. Will nodded then once more laid his good hand on Whispers neck.
“You want me to do it?” Joshua’s words were gentle.
Will’s voice left him but he shook his head and stood, pulling his pistol awkwardly from its holster. Two small, strong hands took it from him and he didn’t object as Katie cocked the weapon and placed it back into his uninjured hand.
Taking a deep breath to steady himself Will gripped the heavy revolver and pulled the trigger. The echoing report of the guns discharge breaking his heart and leaving a hole in his soul.
“He was all I had.” His nearly inaudible words fell in the silence after the thunder. Will’s knees gave out on him then and he sat heavily on the ground, the pistol tumbling from his grasp.
“Not anymore son.” Joshua’s rugged voice was only just louder than Will’s had been “You’re part of this ranch now.”
Numb Will sat on the ground next to the still body of his horse. Unable to comprehend the older man’s words in his shock.
“Katie.” Joshua called still studying the young man on the ground. “You look after him, while I ride on along and get help.”
“Yes, Pa.” Katie’s’ soft voice whispered past Will’s ear as she stood by his side. Still looking at her father she laid a hand on Will’s shoulder protectively then watched as her father galloped away.
Katie stood there, her light hand resting on Will’s shoulder. Silent tears rolling down her face. Then quietly she stepped around his ridged form and knelt facing the man who sat bewildered on the ground.
“Will.” Her voice was gentle, imploring. “Will.” He turned weary, grief stricken eyes toward her. “Will, do you think you can get up on my horse?” His blank eyes pulled at her heart and she reached out to cup a hand along his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into her palm.
Katie’s soft hand on his cheek seemed to reach deep into Will’s soul and something long forgotten un
coiled, stretched, and broke with in him as tears spilled from his eyes. All of the loss and longing of his life seemed to swell within him like flood waters reaching the top of a dam and pouring over. A ragged breath broke from his lungs and then Katie was holding him. He wrapped his good arm around her waist and buried his head against her as she held him speaking soothing words, as her tears fell like a blessing on his head.
Katie didn’t know how long she stood there holding the cowboy in her arms, feeling his pain. She held him desperately, with a need deeper than any she had ever experienced. This was not the simple loss of a beloved animal but the loss of a dream, of all dreams.
Bitter tears rolled down her face at the recognition of what it all represented. The loss of things that they had both hoped for things that could never be. After what seemed like ages. Will pulled himself back together and she could feel him withdrawing from her in shame at his display of emotion. She wished she had words to tell him that she understood but they wouldn’t come.
She understood, that they had both been denied in life what their hearts desired. Not meeting each other’s eyes, allowing that strange concession to shared pain, she wrapped his wrist and put it in a sling. Then helping him to his feet she guided him to her horse and half pushed him aboard. He moved stiffly as if his body had forgotten motions that were second nature to him. Once she was sure he wasn’t going to fall off she picked up the reins and began walking back toward the ranch.
Katie had them nearly half way back to the ranch before her father and the other men caught up with them. One of the hands gently took the reins of her horse and another helped her up behind her father on his big gelding. It was a silent ride home.
Katie was exhausted. The danger, and emotions of the day had left her drained and bewildered. As soon as she could she had retreated to her room as Nona and Chen Lou went out to the bunk house to tend Will’s wounds.
The last golden rays of the setting sun stretched across her room as she sat on the bed. Her whole body was numb but within her chest her heart twisted treacherously. She longed to run to the bunk house to check on Will. To hold him in her arms again. He was alone even here among her big, boisterous family, and he’d been alone for a long time. She resonated with an understanding of his need. Her heart screamed for her to go to him to be the one who filled that need in his life, but the whispers of the past haunted her keeping her rooted to the spot.
A soft knock caused her to lift her head as her father stepped through the door coming to sit beside her on the bed. “Why are you sitting here in the dark Katie?” he asked gently.
She looked up at him, studying his glacial blue eyes. But she had no reply.
“That young man is hurting you know.” Her father said patiently. “Why don’t you go to him?”
Katie’s eyes grew wide. Was her father saying she should go to Will, comfort him? “You love him don’t you?”
Katie was dumbfounded. How did he know?
“Then why don’t you go to him?” this time he waited for her reply.
“I… I can’t” she stuttered.
“Why not?” Again the ancient words echoed in her head and fresh tears broke loose and spilled down her pale cheeks.
“I can’t Daddy. I have to stay here and take care of you.”
Joshua James reached an arm around his daughter’s shoulders, a sad smile easing over his craggy features.
“Why Katie? Can’t you see that I have everything I need? I have more than enough people to take care of me and your sisters. There’s Bianca and Isadoro, Chen Lou and Benji, not to mention all the other men and your sisters. I don’t think I could be more well cared for.”
“But…” she stuttered again.
“But what?”
“Mama told me I had to take care of you.” Her voice quivered. “She said I was the oldest and had to look after all of you.”
“Oh, darling.” Joshua’s voice was soft. Pulling her close he said gently “You can’t take care of any of us if you can’t take care of yourself and right now you’re having such a battle with your heart there won’t be anything left of you if you don’t let it win. Sometimes listening to your heart is the best way for you to take care of others. Your sisters and I are well cared for but that young man out there is all alone.”
“But I have a responsibility.” Katie’s words were weak.
“We all have responsibilities, sweet heart but our first responsibility is to love. God didn’t put us on this earth to walk it alone. He put us here to live and to share our lives. His wisdom is higher than ours and if He brings something to you then that’s what you’re supposed to have. We can’t get through life on our own strength. The only way to have joy is to trust that you have a purpose and that if we believe and accept, life will take us where God wants us to be.”
Katie’s eyes flew open in wonder as she suddenly understood. Will needed her now, but her family didn’t need her to look after them anymore. She wasn’t leaving them, just adding a new layer to their already remarkable family. By setting her heart free she could not only love and protect her family she could bring someone special to them. Someone who would work alongside her and together build on what her father had started all of those years ago.
Joshua’s smile brightened as he saw the truth dawning on his daughters face. Suddenly she threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “I love you Papa.” She said, just like she had when she was a little girl.
“I know darlin’ now I think there’s someone else who needs you.”
Katie leapt off the bed and dashed down the stairs. Her small booted feet making a thundering racket as she ran.
Will sat propped up in his bed, his arm set and re-hung in its sling. The whole right side of his body was a mass of bruises and scrapes and his bent and battered heart labored in his chest. Everything he had was gone and with it all hope had fled.
He eased his leg on the bunk but couldn’t find any way to ease his brooding mind. That old cayuse had been the last true possession he had that he could call his own. He was a cowboy without a horse or a home. Within him his heart stuttered causing his whole chest to feel as if it were wrapped in steel bands. He struggled to breath.
The bunk house door burst open with a loud bang and Katie James stepped into the room. Will groaned. He didn’t think his battered heart could take much more. Yet there she stood, the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and she might as well have been an ocean away.
He closed his eyes trying to put her image out of his mind. The sound of booted feet shuffling across the plank floor echoed around him and for a moment he thought she had gone. A darkness passed between him and the lamp on the table, diminishing the soft light that penetrated beneath his eyelids.
The whole bunkhouse was silent and he opened his eyes only to find Katie standing before him gazing at him with her luminous eyes. His labored breath caught in his throat and for a moment his head spun. How had he come to love her? He’d tried to avoid her, told himself it could never be and yet somewhere along the way his heart had chosen her. He longed to close his eyes, to shut out her lovely face, to find some dark corner to hide in where he could just forget.
Slowly Katie reached out and drew her hand along the roughened jaw of the injured cowboy, a gentle smile teasing at her lips. Her whole face seemed to glow as she studied his face.
“Will.” Her voice was barely audible but plunged deep into his heart. Not anymore. You’re part of this ranch now. His head suddenly echoed with Joshua’s words from a few hours ago. Could it be? Could the old rancher know and approve? Katie smiled as comprehension finally began to dawn on Will’s handsome face. She smiled a bright clear smile that melted his resistance.
Pushing himself to his feet, he looked down at Katie. “You?” His voice failed him.
Katie nodded her head, her eyes declaring the love she felt. And suddenly he understood. Reaching out with his good arm he pushed a strand of hair away from her face, his work roughened thumb tracing
her jaw line in the process. Bright tears sprang to her eyes as a smile spread across his face.
“I didn’t mean to fall in love with you.” His words were ragged with emotion, as he watched Katie’s eyes grow wide with wonder.
“You love me?” she whispered her eyes glowing.
“From almost the first moment I saw you.”
“I love you too.”
This time her words were firm and his heart sang with the hearing of them. Gently he pulled her to him, his lips descending on hers softly at first and then with the longing, the need, he felt for her. Finally breaking the kiss he slipped his good arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.
“I think I’m going to have to talk to your father then.” Will said with a smile.
Katie wrapped her arm around his waist. “We’ll go together.”
Joshua James was waiting on the front porch when Katie and Will walked out of the bunk house together. The other men, seeing Katie enter, had vacated the place and come running to tell him that the two young people were there alone. He smiled watching them approach, Will leaning heavily on Katie as he hobbled along on his sore leg.
“Mr. James?” Will’s voice was strong as he stepped up to the boss. “I’ve come to speak to you about asking your daughter to marry me.” Will paused waiting for any reaction, but when none came he carried on.
“I know I don’t have much but I promise to do my best to take care of her and provide for her. It might take a while but eventually I’ll have my own spread and ….” His voice trailed off as the other man raised his hand to stop him, and a silence settled over the night.
“Son. Do you love her?” Joshua asked.
“Yes, sir.” Will replied, then looking down into Katie’s upturned face he said the words again. “I love her.”